Saturday, January 15, 2011

i was typing

the computer took it. why? it probably wasn't meant to be written. why do we become angry at others when we are responsible for whatever situation we put ourselves in and our reaction? why do we not accept even in situations where it doesn't make sense how a series of events transpired, the ultimate control of the outcomes rests within us.

how come we don't do more for others and love others? is it because we don't love ourselves enough. in the process of half hearted attempts to love others, hoping we will find a path to love ourselves, we accomplish nothing. we never end up completely loving the other person and we don't end up loving ourselves. is it love lost? is it a reminder that we need to come back to home, to inside of us.

what makes us think enough of anything externally will make us happy? when are you happy with just one of something? don't you want the next thing or another color of it? isn't this world a manipulation making us think we need this or that but really do we - we can't take it with us when we die? when did you last receive a message from someone who died that said, yes it is right the way we are living. we may not have received a message that the way we are living is wrong but what about the moments that stop us and make us question what we are doing and how we are living? what do we do with those moments? do we dismiss them because they don't make us happy? do we set them aside because it is too much effort to change ourselves? "he's too set in his ways to change." really? says who? when?

we do a good job making excuses for ourselves to remain as we are. "it's too much work." "it works well for me right now as  i am." "if you don't like me, then too bad." really? your problem become my problem when the way you are living affects me. don't you see that?

why are we led to believe that human relationships are the source of our happiness when really, they are truly the source of our problems. all problems in life seem to revolve around relationship problems. what makes us so quick to move on to something that seems easier in the moment? how soon do we realize that it didn't make any sense to do so because what seemed good back then is now a problem? when do we learn to just stay and be?

what makes us think anger solves anything? yelling does what? makes us believe because we talk louder we are more important? no we are not. in the process of trying to step over one another to get to the top, only to realize we are no better than each other, what did we forgo?

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